On this day, seven years ago, I lost my brother in a motorcycle accident. I miss him [a lot]. I wonder how his life would be now, what he would be doing, how proud he would be to know i´m following my heart and my dreams, choosing the not so easy path of painting for a living.

This painting has something to do with moments that will not be lived. It´s called Velhice (aging, aeldredom) and it was a guess about how my life would be if my marriage continued. Different perspectives and tastes would lead us to different doors? A life together, but separately? Unecessary noise, self imposed silence? Getting fat and old, collecting patches of colors that I would never live myself. The easy path, but not so easy after all. Life is a matter of choice. Fortunately I can see that now and choose self love, self steem, self awareness… happyness.

I can choose what I want.

I know what I miss.

And life goes on. Painting and wondering on a lazy, cold and lonely sunday morning.

this is a really tiny illustration, a fraction from a bigger painting i made .

this is how life can be: an uncomprehensive  fraction from a bigger picture…hard stuff to figure out.

I hope to sell well on saturday.

My first solo exhibition in São Paulo, Brazil.

June 6 to 30th at Jacques Ardies Gallery.

www.ardies.com (for address, contact and details)

I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you all for being around!

This painting was made for my friends Adriana´s cousins: Ceci and Cleusa.

They live in White Plains, NY and they have by far the best bed and breakfest in the States…

even before they open it.

Love is an art printed in one´s eyes and gestures, voice and touch.

I (still) believe in love.

PAINTING

is not a game

LIVING

is.

Sometimes i feel like someone eternally waiting

for the letter that may never arrive

the love that will never come

the happyness that will never be

But then I feel the wind on my skin

the green fields from a distance

and the surprising colors, all over, everyday

and then I know: everything is,  indeed,  possible.

have you ever done something you didn´t want to?

frustrated expectations are the source of all the pain

I wish I could sleep and dream of children playing

bright stars on a blue, clear sky

houses, mountains, laughter, happyness and love…

Are we all asking for the impossible? I hope not.

The room is empty. Is he coming back? Can I jump with no major damage to the furniture?

The expectations are immense…

will I be able to make a statement?

I need to paint to survive. I´m struggling. Is there anyone out there?

Is the room empty?

I´ve asked the Gods about the uncertainty of my  future and they´ve answered:

” a bright white light is opening your ways.”

And I do believe in it.