dreams

Choose your dreams

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Tem realidade demais pra ser digerida nesse mundo gorduroso.
Sonhos, por outro lado
SĂŁo doces e nĂŁo engordam
SĂŁo assustadores mas nĂŁo matam
SĂŁo confusos mas nĂŁo importam

Neles, voar Ă© possĂ­vel
Sonhar Ă© passĂ­vel
Viver é passável

A madeira escorre
O chĂŁo flutua
Os potes transbordam
De nada
E nada existe
Nem tudo Ă©.

Sonhar
Profundo, tranquilo como o cosmo
Revolto e indecifrável
como o mar
Um mar de sonhar.

Lá a loucura é permitida.
Andar nu, sentar-se, subir ou olhar
Entrar ou sair, exitar…
Lá tudo pode
Porque nada Ă©.

Escolha o seu sonho
Um raro e um caro produto
De mentes sĂŁs e perturbadas.

Escolha enquanto há tempo
Enquanto o tempo gira
Nos relĂłgios que pairam

Que bela a vida que se contempla
daqui de fora
Daqui de cima
daqui do lado
Daqui de dentro
De onde viver e sonhar
SĂł depende do desejar
SĂł depende do desenhar.

making a living

ciranda

I didn´t know how hard it would be. And yet rewarding…

This is no holliday. I need to make a living, pay my bills, take care of my son and to paint. 8 hours, 12 hours, 16 hours daily. With no promise of a salary in the end of the day, month, year. Only promises of new projects, new shows, new possibilities. So much hope inside. Meanwhile, on the outside, canvas growing wild in my bedroom, livingroom, everywhere around me. People come and go, they appreciate it and they say: I wish I had the means to buy one… (YOU DO!) …no, I have other priorities now. Of course, colorful naive images on the wall are not made for the busy, struggling, simple man. So I am the busy, struggling, simple woman that must consider a second or third job in order to make life happen too. My heart gets heavy; I worry about being completely absorved by this workingman day that some call job and leaving my soul behind on the paintings I´d never be able to paint. I have plenty of work, it´s just not providing [yet]. It´s like considering a sabbatical just before the big break. It´s like choosing between love and money as they would be inconcievable essencials, forbidden by destiny to be reached or recieved at the same time.

I feel trapped, but i´m not giving up. I feel lonely but not hopeless. Dreams of new paintings polulate my sleep and new, exciting images keep appearing before my eyes: that must be a sign.

Or I´m just really naive.

wouldn´t it be nice…

sol

… if I could only lay down in my bed and be reached by the sun light, gentle, warm, peacefully.

…if  all my troubles could be about deciding what to wear today.

…if the worst confusion of my life was the messy pattern of my quilt.

…if  I could stop time, and decide wisely wich way to go… and keep walking until I reached it?

wouldn´t it be nice if I could dream with no guilt and live with no fear?

On canvas and paint everything is possible.

one more [one less] day

something will happen

i wish some dreams could just be true

i´m missing a certain feeling of plenitude and joy

longing for a place where fear and loneliness do not insist on existing

and the confort of warm, long and quiet hugs are easy and abundant

sometimes i wish i could dream endlessly (and not wake up into reality).